Searching
by Lord Skye
Summary: Ryan Cousland has been searching for nearly six months and has finally found a lead on his lost love... Morrigan.


Ryan wrapped his cloak around himself tightly and truged along through the snow and the slicing wind. It hadn't been as bad when he had headed into almost the same mountains to find the Urn of Sacred Ashes; nor when they had gone back to deal with the dragon. A small whimper from behind him made him stop as he turned and looked at his trusy mabari, Seeley, looking up at him with exhaustion. Ryan kneeled down and petted his dog's fur and fed him the last bits of salted pork he had in his pack. "Don't worry boy." We should find some refuge soon... I hope." The dog barked meaningfully and the pair went onward.

Refuge did come, nearly half an hour later in the form of an old inn, so old and worn he couldn't exactly read the name on the side. He pushed the door open and was greeted by a blast of warmth he had almost forgotten the feel of. Seeley barked happily and ran over to the hearth while Ryan finally took off his cloak and seated himself in a far corner. He did a quick scan of the room looking to see if anyone recognized him, no one seemed to, but he had grown his hair out and had some facial hair now, so no one was likely to notice the Hero of Ferelden and King Consort Ryan Cousland in this long slunk dingy inn on the fringes of civilization. He kept peering around the inn looking for signs, any sign, of his quarry... Morrigan.

It had been five and a half months since the Battle of Denerim, and five and a half months since the night he had spent with the woman he loved, saving his and his fellow Grey Warden's life and five and a half months searching Ferelden for her. His inital searches, back to her mother's hut, and then back into the Dalish wood didn't reveal anything except the disturbing absense of a high dragon corpse and nothing else. All it took was a rumor of a dark haired woman, with child, traveling along the Frostback Mountains to make Ryan's heart soar with hope, and being awoken by feelings of regret and loss from the west, through the ring he always wore to spur him along on this journey. He had been there long enough for Seeley to pad up to him, warm and happy again, for the inkeeper to come over to him. "What'll it be son?" he asked.

"Information." Ryan replied, reaching into his cloak for a sheet of paper, drawn on which was a sketch of Morrigan's face. He had done it once while she was sleeping and, unwilling to hear her ridicule his meager drawing talents, never showed her. He unfolded the picture and slid it across the tble to the man. "I need to know if you've seen this woman." he said. "And if you have, where she's going."

The innkeepers eyes went wide for an instant before he stuttered "Ah no, no.. no sir I'm sorry." He turned to back away but the clink of metal on wood made him turn around and he saw the sizeale bag that Ryan had dropped onto the table, numerous copper and silver coins spilling out of it.

"Think harder." Ryan said, his face and tone clearly telling the man that he knew he was lying to him. The innkeeper opened and closed his mouth a few times, obvously trying to come up with a new lie but finally sat down. Hope leapt into Ryan's heart. After months and months of nothing he finally knew he was on the right track. He was about to ask a thousand qustions at once but the barman spoke again. "She said that if anyone matching your description, the long hair, the same tattoo the king has, with a Mabari warhound following him, was asking about her was to lie and say nothing."

Ryan fixed the man with a glare, the same flare in his eyes that had been burning whenever he was cleaving through Darkspawn or Loghain's assassins. "Tell me." he said coldly.

"She had a knife to my throat." the barkeep said somewhat pitifully rubbing his neck. The sound of coins on the table, from a much larger bag, with gold spilling out of this one made the man's eyes go even wider. "Well, her knife's not here now is it?" he said softly as he scooped up the two bags. "Yes, I've seen her, not two days ago. She was here for an evening, rented a room and left before first light."

Ryan sat there for a moment, unable to even process what he was hearing. He was less than a day behind her. Seeley could pick up her trail from the scent in the room she had and... Ryan's good mood vanished in an instant. He closd his eyes softly and sighed the image of the bird atop of Fort Drakon burned into his brain. She had told the inkeeper how Ryan looked now, not the clean shaven, spikey haired man he had been but the long haired disshevled man he was. He might've been close, but she had seen him, obviously, and there was no way he was going to be able to find her trail again, not unless she wanted him too, and despite everything she had said, despite how much she claimed to care for him and cherished their time together, the one thing she wanted more than anything was to never be found. This was the end of the line, and he knew it.

"Which room was hers?" he asked softly.

"Room five." the barman said as Ryan got to his feet. "Stiffed me on the paymnt too."

"There's enough in the bags to tear down this place and build a new one." the Warden said as he walked behind the bar and took the key for room five and headed upstairs, Seeley on his heels. He found the room easily enough, put the key into the lock and opened the door.

For an instant he saw Morrigan. For an instant he saw her spinning around, seeing him and him running to and hugging her. For an instant he heard her apologize for leaving him, apologize for trying to get him to leave her, apologize for leaving after the battle, promising that she never would again and for an instant felt the hope and joy that swelled within him, hearing everything he imagined from the woman he loved.

That instant was over quickly.

The room was empty, the bed made, the windows closed, the door had been locked and there was no trace that anyone had been here. Ryan looked down at Seeley who was staring at the room confused before barking up at his master. "No," he said sighing. "No, I don't think he was lying... we're just... just too late." Ryan entered the room anyway and shut the door. He knew the barman wasn't lying, he knew Morrigan had been here and had left mere hours ago. Thanks to the Templar training Alistair had given him, he could feel the mana in the air when a mage was close or had just been near and whether it was the blood magic or the unorthodox training, he was able to seperate Morrigan's aura from Wynne's or from any other mages. Always helpful when she was visiting his tent at night, she always hated him being already awake and 'ready' for her.

Seeing her half angry half amused face looking at him in the dark nights at camp in his minds eye hurt more than he thought they would. He hadn't let himself think about those nights in months, but being in this room, feeling her aura here so strongly they all came rushing back. Every moment with her from when she came upon him, Alistar and the other recruits in the Wilds to that last moment they locked eyes on Fort Drackon all came slamming into him in an instant. He sat down, hard, on the bed and closed his eyes, trying to get his emotions under control.

When he was sure that he was NOT going to cry or start feeling like falling on his sword again he opened his eyes and saw Seeley sniffing at the dresser in the room. He frowned as his Mabari didn't stop either. "What is it. boy?" he asked, surpised even at how dead his voice sounded. Seeley barked loudly a few times and Ryan frowned. "No, she's gone." he said. Seeley barked insistently though and Ryan eventully went to see what it was that was captivating his dog about the dresser so. He opened the top draw and his mouth fell open. Humans loved using words and they used them so often and freely they lost all their meaning, but when he saw what was in that drawer, his heart broke.

Inside was every single thing he had given her over the course of their journey. Every necklace, every ring, every shiny bauble he had given her. He always thought it was amusing that she was very adamant that power was everything, but she had always smiled, truly smiled, whenever he presented her with some new piece of jewelry. Tears fell freely from his eyes as he took every piece from the draw and set them each out carefully on top of the end table next to the bed.

When the drawer was empty he stopped and looked at every piece, inspecting them like he actually knew something about jewelcrafting. He remembered them all, the golden rope necklaces he had bought from Old Tegran, the demon headed pendant he had found at Andraste's Ashes, the locket he had bought from the Dalish camp, all of them and the smiles and lights in her eyes when he gave them to her, it was only ever there for a second but it was always worth it. It had been there a bit longer though once, the only time he had ever seen her truly happy for a time longer than a few seconds. It wasn't when he had given her her mother's book, when he told her Flemeth was dead, it was when he had given her the... he froze. He scanned everything on the dressers top again and didn't see it. He checked the dresser again, all the drawers too. He ran around the room checking everything. He eptied every drawer he could find. He flipped the bed over, looked through all the pillows and covers a smile growing his face as his search came up fruitless. Finally, when he was sure he had looked everywhere he could he started crying and laughing at the same time.

Every single gift he had given her over the course of their journey had been left behind and abandonded... except the mirror. The golden hand mirror he had bought in Orzammar. In one of the first conversations they had had, before he stopped being wary of the mysterious witch she had told him about when she was young and had stolen a jeweled gold hand mirror, and despite how much she protested that it didn't matter, he could tell she had never quite gotten over the loss of it. When he had seen the same thing for sale in Orzammar he bought it immediatly and when they had finally gotten through the Deep Roads, relativley unscathed, he had given it to her back at camp, and seeing her smile like she did made every single time he had to listen to her and Alistar trade barbs worth it. He slumped down by the door and hit the ground with a large thud, Seely coming over to lick his master's face.

"She kept the mirror..." he said to his hound, eliciting a happy bark from the Mabari. "Andraste's ashes she kept the mirror." he started laughing fully now. Six months of fruitless searching, cold starving nights and achy feet all vanishing in a second. After all his nagging doubts that sh had just been playing him the entire time were gone, because, no matter how hard she tried to force all memories of him away, she couldn't abandon the mirror. He stood up, scooped the jewelry into his pack and left the inn with a smile on his face, confusing the barman.

Outside, the blizzard had stopped and Ryan, his mind at ease, started back towards Denerim. Ferelden needed its king and the Wardens needed there commander. Seely, ever the faithful dog, followed his master until he smelled something. He broke off and ran around the back of the building, sniffing around until he heard Ryan call for him. He went back to his master, only looking back once, to see a small black cat, with glowing amber eyes and a small golden hand mirror in its mouth.


End file.
